Fear is not always a bad thing.
A few years ago my wife and I were hiking in the Maryland hills, north of where we live. We had reached the summit, stopping to look for a place to rest, relax and eat the lunch we had packed. Seeing a perfect, flat granite outcropping, I walked over and turned to sit.
That’s when I heard the snake rattle directly behind me.
I’d like to say I turned, confronted my adversary and struck it down mightily…but I think I actually made a sound akin to a bovine strangulation and ran.
When I reflect on that experience, I’m amazed by the series of events: hearing the sound, running the opposite direction, and then comprehending that it was a rattlesnake. My body knew the fear and fled before my mind had processed it.
Fear tends to stop us, to divert us or cause us to retreat. On this hike, it was exactly what was needed to preserve myself.
Unfortunately, there are times when the fear response is hurtful instead of helpful.
Have you ever:
- not asked for help, because of fear?
- chosen a safe path instead of your passion, because of fear?
- not asked someone out, because of fear?
- stayed in a job you didn’t really want, because of fear?
- let a relationship fade, because of fear?
- refused to give something a try, because of fear?
- avoided health checkups, because of fear?
- stayed home from an event, because of fear?
- not told someone you loved them, because of fear?
- treated someone harshly, because of fear?
- been estranged from your family, because of fear?
- gave up before the finish line, because of fear?
- turned to an addiction, because of fear?
- mismanaged money, because of fear?
- remained in an abusive situation, because of fear?
- pretended to be someone you’re not, because of fear?
- lived beneath your full potential, because of fear?
We all can relate to times when our fears either kept us in negative situations or stopped us from pursuing positive change. The key is to start recognizing those moments and questioning our responses.
Here are five questions you can use for self-evaluation:
1. Where is fear causing me to change my behavior?
2. Are the negatives greater than the positives?
3. Are my concerns realistic or fictional?
4. Where are other options than the ones I’m currently considering?
5. Who can I talk to for a fresh, objective perspective?
Often, in my work, I function as a trustworthy external sounding board around issues of fear. If you would like to discuss a fear blocking your own life, I would love to hear from you. Give me a call at 240-460-2461 or email me: kirk@absolutearrow.com.
