Often marriage relationships are taken for granted, expected to work out over the years.
Until the day a couple finds themselves in trouble, with one or both wanting out.
To ensure a great marriage over time, take action today on these four steps for a growing, potentially great, marriage.
1. Make time for each other.
Life throws many distractions at us on a daily basis. Kids are prepped and taken to school, jobs are worked, bills are paid, meals are prepared, homework checked, and exercise occasionally squeezed into the mix. And this process called ‘life’ continues on, catching us up in its momentum.
Unfortunately, time with our spouse is often the first item jettisoned, if it was on the list of “to dos” at all.
Schedule time together with each other on a regular basis, to enjoy one another. Set this priority at the top of your list and do all you can to establish a healthy relational routine in your life.
2. Build intimacy through conversations about feelings, goals and aspirations.
When couples do get time together, conversation can center around all the stuff of life – schedules, work, kids, cars, money, needed vacations, and household maintenance needs. But they aren’t talking about the core issues of how each other are feeling.
To grow your understanding of your partner, and to be understood yourself, share your feelings about life and each other. Tell each other what are your life’s goals at the moment, what you long for and what you fear. Share what makes you happy and what is upsetting.
This is a key element to strengthen a marriage against affairs. As we feel misunderstood and unknown by our spouses, we start to look for the connection elsewhere. Coming together increases relational intimacy and the satisfaction within the marriage.
If you find conversations difficult at times, read my two-part post, 10 Steps to Profitable Conversations, for some guidance.
3. Help each other meet personal needs.
When dating, rarely do young people talk about the needs they have in the relationship. It’s likely they’re not even aware of these needs at the time.
Focusing on need fulfillment is a method of building satisfaction.
As we are continually changing, it can be expected that our needs will change over time. Following our conversations about our deeper selves, we can work to meet each others relational needs.
4. Nurture personal growth.
One positive outcome of personal growth is that it works to strengthen individuals against old inadequacies that can arise to disrupt a relationship. Marriages start out strong as each person rises to the occasion, but after a time unresolved issues can drive a wedge between two people.
Another advantage is that each partner continually has new thoughts and experiences to share with one another, preventing the relationship “boredom” that can set in over time.
There is a lot of information out there about making money, getting fit and finding the ‘right girl.’ In my view, the best part of life is the relationships we experience on our journey.
And the person we marry is the most important of all.
So, along with the rest of your business and life plans, schedule in your marriage building strategy now and enjoy what can be the best part of your life – for the rest of your life!
